What Women Think When Watching Mainstream Porn

So, here's what a woman watching or looking at typical mainstream porn might be thinking:

"Oooh. Sex... Oooh, it's making me horny. But wait..."

"Those fake tits look dumb. They're like balloons on her skinny chest. And she's wearing too much makeup. Ew, now it's all smeared on his dick..."

"Man, Ron Jeremy is ugly, how the hell did he get so popular? The other guys aren't much better, I wish they were better looking..."

"As if she'd just fuck the pizza guy, look at him, he's about 15!"

"Why is she still wearing her high heels? How the hell did she get naked without taking her shoes off??

"Anal sex? Already? Hey, slow down you prick. Ow."

"Why is that woman looking at me and not the guy she's fucking? Hey... babe... look at him... go on... LOOK AT HIM!! Oh for Christ's sake, now she's staring at the wall. She's probably thinking about her next appointment at the STD clinic."

"Those moans are so fake! Just shut up and enjoy it, will you? No, stop making all those stupid kitten noises, they sound really dumb. Either go with a proper low moan or keep quiet."

"Hah, she's supposed to be having an orgasm and he hasn't even touched her clit! Hang on... maybe I'm the only one who can't come with my vagina. What's wrong with me?"

"Well, that was ridiculously quick. But why is she having an orgasm when there's nothing actually touching her at all? Do other women really scream that much when they come?"

"Why does the guy get 40 minutes worth of blowjob but he doesn't reciprocate? Come on, give her a lick! Wimp!"

"Why can't they kiss each other properly instead of tongue-jousting? It's not hard... Put. Your. Lips. Together. Close your eyes. No, put your tongue away!! Oh God, it's hopeless."

"Look at the nails on those lesbians. That's gonna cause some serious internal damage. And she'll need a manicure after this."

"Why, oh fucking why, does he have to pull out and come all over her face and hair and stomach? What possible good has that done either of them? If they're relying on the rhythm method, I don't think they'll last long as porn stars."

"Why can't we see the man's face when he comes?"

"Why does she look happy that she's got cum in her eye? That's gotta hurt! Ooh, now it's all through her mascara."

"Hey, he came but she didn't... why isn't he sticking around to finish her off? Bastard."

Grandma Scrotum 2004

What Porn Is Available for Women?

For The Girls - a women's magazine with porn added. Lots of naked men and couples photos and movies, but also articles, stories and columns written in house. All the content is chosen because it will appeal to women, and the writing has a strong pro-sex, pro-woman slant. Plenty of humor as well.

Pure Cunnilingus - this site offers photos and movies of men giving cunnilingus to women. Also has fiction, sex tips, and access to a number of other women's sites.

Sssh.com - thoroughly touchy-feely, this site offers a gentle, sensual introduction into the world of porn for women. Lots of articles and advice, and tastefully shot photographs.

Playgirl has finally decided to go online and their site Playgirl TV is chock-a-block with naked men, as you'll see from their tour. They also feature streaming videos from their line of couples-friendly porn films and there's a bunch of extras too.

Couples Pleasure Dome - if you love porn movies but you're sick of wading through all the crap... this site is for you. It features downloadable scenes from high quality films, all chosen because they are aimed at women and couples.

Masturbating Men - 1000s of photos of guys getting naked and jerking off, made just for women. Access to heaps of other sites too!

Female Fantasies - this site offers pictorial representations of common female fantasies, as well as erotic fiction and articles.

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Porn for Women Biz 2006